Prego Mego

Today's post is one that I have very much intended to write about for a long time, but felt as though I needed to describe my entire experience from start to finish to give readers a clear background on our unique experience (for those who haven't seen previous posts: anencephaly, preterm delivery etc). As a quick catch-up, I had found out at my 20-week anatomy scan that our baby was most likely going to be stillborn due to him having anencephaly, a condition where the neural tube hadn't fully closed, and a significant portion of his brain had developed outside of the skull. I intend to do a more in-depth post about anencephaly in the future, drawing from my own experience and knowledge from doctors that I have been unable to source online. We were told that our baby would most probably be stillborn, but there was a small chance that he may live for a few minutes, in which case they had summarized he wouldn't feel any pain but they would make him as comfortable as possi...

Today's post is about a book written by Elle Wright following the death of her son, Teddy. It's both a biography of her experience with infant loss, but also a really well-written and useful book to help others understand what that loss may look like. I first found Elle ( @feathering_the_empty_nest on Instagram) after listening to her story on Giovanna Fletcher's podcast, Happy Mum, Happy Baby. Her story immediately struck me, so I followed her on Instagram right away. Her Instagram isn't just a place for talks on loss, it's also a wonderful interiors account and also serves up some serious garden-envy when she begins planting in the spring and summer.  When I first followed her, I'll admit it was half because she was a really good speaker and very eloquently described the loss of Teddy, but also because I was so curious what she must show on social media, and how had she found a balance of seemingly "normal" content alongside such a tale of loss. Whe...

Hi everyone, I thought it would be a good idea to share some resources available to Canadian families who have lost an infant, experienced Stillbirth, and/or struggling with pregnancy loss. I hope this can bring some comfort to parents that may, like us, have been handed a bundle of pamphlets at the hospital and recycled them as soon as they got home because they didn't want to read about help right away. (In fairness, it would have probably been a good idea to tuck them away but grief really had gotten the best of me.) Having a page available with resources for a Canadian family (or really any family) dealing with the loss of a baby was really important to me, because it's probably a tool I would have used had I known about it. I've researched many websites and resources, and I've only included the ones that I think are useful, or have a well-established reputation. For now, I've focused on Canadian resources and a specific look at Ontario resources, but I intend t...

Warning: Baby Loss/Stillbirth After my 20-week ultrasound/anatomy scan we had found out that our baby had an anencephaly, and was unlikely to live after being born. We were briefly told by my OB that the baby would likely be stillborn, but there was a small chance that it may live for a few minutes, in which case they would do their best to make him/her comfortable until they passed away. Oddly at that time I desperately hoped that the baby would live even for a few seconds, but that wasn't the case for us and in hindsight I think our son being stillborn is more comforting to me.  My OB who had followed me for my first pregnancy and up until 20 weeks with my son had informed us that our care would be transferred to another OB, but one that focused on fetal maternal medicine. I was nervous to see another Dr, but I knew that they were the experts and also how lucky we were to have this particular unit at the same hospital I was already visiting for my prenatal care. When I went to th...

Monday, June 8, 2020 In August of 2019 I had my 20-Week ultrasound scheduled for my second baby. We weren't planning on finding out the sex of the baby, we just went in for the typical anatomy scan. As protocol was last year in my Ontario hospital, my partner wasn't allowed into the room until the end of the appointment. Typically the anatomy scan lasts between 45 minutes and an hour, so it's a bit of a wait for your partner, but of course worth it to see a tiny human kicking and rolling around.  I went into the ultrasound room and hopped onto the bed, excited to see my baby for the first time in weeks. I had begun to feel him move just about a week prior- I always feel my babies move later in pregnancy, around 20 weeks with my daughter, 20 weeks with my son and about 19 weeks with my current pregnancy. This isn't particularly worrying for me, as I typically have a lot of fluid due to being diabetic, and also in my current pregnancy I have an anterior placenta which may...

(Warning: Baby Loss/Stillbirth) June 6, 2020 Today I'm going to write a post about where I've been for the last year. In April of 2019 we conceived our son, Jack, and I had an interesting experience in pregnancy which I think I will break-down in multiple posts to share my experiences in greater detail. A few topics I want to cover are PTSD, Maternal Instinct, Anencephaly, Stillbirth at 22 weeks gestation, baby loss and all of the ripple-effects that it has had on me as a mother. I'm also hoping to update more often, especially as I feel more up to discussing these topics since Jack passed away, and also because I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby- during a global pandemic of course.  I hope to really focus on the Canadian birth experience, stories from myself and other mothers, particularly diverse voices during the very important Black Lives Matter movement. I'm hoping to shine a light on typical and atypical Canadian prenatal and postpartum care an...