Getting Bad News at your 20-Week Ultrasound

Monday, June 8, 2020

In August of 2019 I had my 20-Week ultrasound scheduled for my second baby. We weren't planning on finding out the sex of the baby, we just went in for the typical anatomy scan. As protocol was last year in my Ontario hospital, my partner wasn't allowed into the room until the end of the appointment. Typically the anatomy scan lasts between 45 minutes and an hour, so it's a bit of a wait for your partner, but of course worth it to see a tiny human kicking and rolling around. 

I went into the ultrasound room and hopped onto the bed, excited to see my baby for the first time in weeks. I had begun to feel him move just about a week prior- I always feel my babies move later in pregnancy, around 20 weeks with my daughter, 20 weeks with my son and about 19 weeks with my current pregnancy. This isn't particularly worrying for me, as I typically have a lot of fluid due to being diabetic, and also in my current pregnancy I have an anterior placenta which may cushion some of the movement. For my son I was mildly concerned because I had heard many women feel their second baby move much sooner, which wasn't the case for me. When I was laying there all of those worries quickly flooded my mind but I didn't want to seem too unstable so I just made the usual small-talk while the ultrasound technician added the gel to my belly and prodded around. 

It took a few minutes, maybe 10, before I could see her face drop. I knew immediately that something was very wrong. She gently excused herself, and told me she was just going to get a doctor to come and check the baby. She told me not to worry, but also that she couldn't reveal anything that she saw in case it wasn't accurate. A lot went through my mind during those minutes alone in the room. I tried to crane my head to look at the screen, as if I could see the picture and somehow determine what was going on. Very quickly a Dr entered the room with two ultrasound technicians. They spent probably another 20 minutes looking at the baby, making sure I was okay but revealing nothing about what they saw. 

The doctor left, and both ultrasound techs stayed and asked for my husbands name. One went to get him, and he came in looking so excited to see our baby. I shook my head at him and he asked what was wrong, but the technician once again said she couldn't say, but that we would see my OB after the appointment. She showed us our baby wriggling about and kicking, and gave us some pictures before we left. I was due to see my OB at a regular clinic appointment following my ultrasound which usually means having a bit of a wait, but I was informed that they'd called my Dr and informed her that we needed to be seen right away. 

When we got into the hallway I burst into tears and said that I knew our baby was going to die. I could see that it was still alive and could feel it move, but I knew something was horribly wrong. My husband gave me the sound advice to not worry until we heard from the OB and I tried to calm down a bit before getting to the waiting room. We were sent to a room right away, and within 5 minutes our excellent obstetrician was there. She explained that our baby had Anencephaly, a condition where the neural tube hasn't closed properly and part of the baby's brain had developed outside of the skull. Because of the severity of the anencephaly it was not likely that our baby would survive outside of the womb for more than a few minutes, but the most likely outcome would be stillbirth.

We were told we could stay in the room for as long as we needed, and that my care would be transferred. My obstetrician said she would see me again in the future, and that she was very sorry for our loss. I was referred to a fetal medicine specialist OB who worked at the same hospital, and the appointment was scheduled for a few days later to discuss our options. We were sent home with the pictures of our baby and the news that we would be delivering our son in the coming weeks.

I want to update my experience in smaller posts, rather than a huge birth story because I realize some people may just have bad news at their 20 week ultrasound and go on to deliver at full-term, some may only have interest in stillbirth itself, and others may not want to read about baby loss at all.