Thursday, July 19/18
Book reviews aren't something I've ever done before, but before, during, and after pregnancy is a time that most women scramble to read and research as much as humanely possible to somehow reassure themselves that they are doing the best things they can both for themselves, their relationships and their babies. However, I found myself actually just feeling kind of scared and guilty after reading most things, and Angela Garbes "Like a Mother" is a wonderful acknowledgment of that. Garbes basically explains her personal experience with difficult topics that are so rarely discussed (miscarriage, post-partum sex, your pelvic floor etc.) in a way that makes you feel like you're talking to a friend with a good sense of humour, who's slightly poetic and wise, but not in a way that makes it sound like your mother is giving you all of this advice. In fact, the book doesn't give much advice regarding pregnancy and motherhood, rather it's informative in many ways that apps, websites, and more popular pregnancy books aren't. The research Garbes has done into things like breastfeeding and breastmilk, your pelvic floor and the way various people are treated and/or feel during pregnancy and beyond makes for a fascinating read, full of things I'd either wondered or had been too ignorant to ever really consider (as a white, middle-class British-Canadian woman).
The best thing about this book is that it's contemporary and relevant, written by a woman who has recently experienced pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood, written in a way specifically designed not to make you feel guilty or tell you what to do. It's a personal account with many reliable and trustworthy sources, studies and opinions from professional men and women who are either parents themselves or are in the world of Obstetrics, studying breastmilk and beyond.
Garbes story was particularly relatable for me, as I too had an unplanned emergency c-section when I didn't go in wanting one at all. I found it so wonderful to read about another woman's experience and find that I agreed with so many of her viewpoints, and often felt more 'normal' about thoughts I have post-partum. One example is that I really don't feel like I want to lose weight and be in my pre-baby body. I realize I could be healthier, exercise more and eat a more balanced diet, but as far as changing the way I look and being unhappy with a body that grew a baby seems insane to me. I often feel as though my relationship with my stretch marks is that I know I shouldn't like them, but I actually kind of do. In lots of ways I feel that although my body bears these marks it was actually my baby that gave them to me, and just like I couldn't stand to throw away her umbilical cord clip, her stained newborn onesie or the piece of paper stuck to her crib in the hospital, I feel oddly sentimental about the stretch marks and numb skin near my incision (that still doesn't have all its feeling back) and the incision itself for that matter. Garbes book helped me realize that the relationship with ourselves during and after pregnancy isn't going to be consistent, somedays we will feel wonderful and confident about our body and what it did to create life, with a sudden urge to squat when you brush your teeth and drink a green smoothie, and other days you'll wonder when you'll be yourself again and not a vessel for your child to grab onto, drain and tire out until you find yourself mindlessly eating a bag of chips on the couch and wondering what day of dry shampoo you're on.
I loved the messages in this book, primarily about providing reliable resources and support for women during this time of their life, and encouraging them to speak out about questions and queries they have for healthcare professionals and expecting a real, honest answer so that they don't always have to resort to fear-mongering websites and apps. Of all the pregnancy books I have owned and read this has to be one of my favourites. Having just one book that focuses on the mother helps remind me that the entire crazy miracle that brought my baby into this world would be non-existent without me and my body, and that I should be treating myself more kindly and fairly- while also feeling empowered to ask the questions and demand better care for myself and other mothers and mothers-to-be around me. I'd highly recommend it to anybody even remotely curious about the journey of modern-day motherhood.
Thanks for reading!
Book reviews aren't something I've ever done before, but before, during, and after pregnancy is a time that most women scramble to read and research as much as humanely possible to somehow reassure themselves that they are doing the best things they can both for themselves, their relationships and their babies. However, I found myself actually just feeling kind of scared and guilty after reading most things, and Angela Garbes "Like a Mother" is a wonderful acknowledgment of that. Garbes basically explains her personal experience with difficult topics that are so rarely discussed (miscarriage, post-partum sex, your pelvic floor etc.) in a way that makes you feel like you're talking to a friend with a good sense of humour, who's slightly poetic and wise, but not in a way that makes it sound like your mother is giving you all of this advice. In fact, the book doesn't give much advice regarding pregnancy and motherhood, rather it's informative in many ways that apps, websites, and more popular pregnancy books aren't. The research Garbes has done into things like breastfeeding and breastmilk, your pelvic floor and the way various people are treated and/or feel during pregnancy and beyond makes for a fascinating read, full of things I'd either wondered or had been too ignorant to ever really consider (as a white, middle-class British-Canadian woman).
The best thing about this book is that it's contemporary and relevant, written by a woman who has recently experienced pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood, written in a way specifically designed not to make you feel guilty or tell you what to do. It's a personal account with many reliable and trustworthy sources, studies and opinions from professional men and women who are either parents themselves or are in the world of Obstetrics, studying breastmilk and beyond.
Garbes story was particularly relatable for me, as I too had an unplanned emergency c-section when I didn't go in wanting one at all. I found it so wonderful to read about another woman's experience and find that I agreed with so many of her viewpoints, and often felt more 'normal' about thoughts I have post-partum. One example is that I really don't feel like I want to lose weight and be in my pre-baby body. I realize I could be healthier, exercise more and eat a more balanced diet, but as far as changing the way I look and being unhappy with a body that grew a baby seems insane to me. I often feel as though my relationship with my stretch marks is that I know I shouldn't like them, but I actually kind of do. In lots of ways I feel that although my body bears these marks it was actually my baby that gave them to me, and just like I couldn't stand to throw away her umbilical cord clip, her stained newborn onesie or the piece of paper stuck to her crib in the hospital, I feel oddly sentimental about the stretch marks and numb skin near my incision (that still doesn't have all its feeling back) and the incision itself for that matter. Garbes book helped me realize that the relationship with ourselves during and after pregnancy isn't going to be consistent, somedays we will feel wonderful and confident about our body and what it did to create life, with a sudden urge to squat when you brush your teeth and drink a green smoothie, and other days you'll wonder when you'll be yourself again and not a vessel for your child to grab onto, drain and tire out until you find yourself mindlessly eating a bag of chips on the couch and wondering what day of dry shampoo you're on.
I loved the messages in this book, primarily about providing reliable resources and support for women during this time of their life, and encouraging them to speak out about questions and queries they have for healthcare professionals and expecting a real, honest answer so that they don't always have to resort to fear-mongering websites and apps. Of all the pregnancy books I have owned and read this has to be one of my favourites. Having just one book that focuses on the mother helps remind me that the entire crazy miracle that brought my baby into this world would be non-existent without me and my body, and that I should be treating myself more kindly and fairly- while also feeling empowered to ask the questions and demand better care for myself and other mothers and mothers-to-be around me. I'd highly recommend it to anybody even remotely curious about the journey of modern-day motherhood.
Thanks for reading!
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