Sunday, June 7/18
Being alone with your newborn for the first time can be very daunting. For me, it was made even more daunting for the fact that I actually hadn't spent much time with her in the hospital as she was in the NICU and I was recovering from a c-section down the hall. Because I'd spent the week prior to giving birth in the antenatal ward, and Ivy and I were in the hospital for 4 nights after I'd delivered meant that my hubby had to get back to work quite soon after coming home. If I remember correctly, (I do, I will never forget) we were discharged on Sunday afternoon, and my husband worked a 3-11pm shift the following day. Luckily I'd enrolled my Mum to come and help which made it all much less scary, plus I couldn't really do too much 5 days post-surgery. But being alone with your newborn, properly alone, is pretty scary stuff.
MY FORGETFUL EXPERIENCE
I don't remember exactly how long it was after having her, but my husband worked a night shift and as much as I wanted to call my Mum/Mother-in-law to come for a sleepover I knew I had to buckle down and get one night alone with baby under my belt. I'd been alone with her for a few hours here and there, but not too often. If I'm totally honest it went really well and as it turns out there was nothing to be scared of. I fed her, changed her, put her to sleep and held her. It's just a cycle of those 4 things in the early days and weeks, and honestly I've done it so much now that I don't even remember anything that was particularly difficult about it. It's a different story when you're alone with a baby 24/7, but for a day or night here and there there really is nothing to be worried about. But it's the emotions and anxiety beforehand that make it such a daunting task!
THE FEAR
The anxiety and fear associated with being alone with your newborn baby for the first time is really, quite an unnecessary thing. I was worried about so much. What if she starts crying and doesn't stop? What if I sleep through her crying? What about SIDS? Should I just watch her sleep all night? How will I go to the bathroom? Do I bring her in with me? What if the cat jumps into her bassinet and smothers her? How will I even feed the cat, I can't possibly run into the kitchen to do that and leave her alone! I'll have to feed her supper early at about 3pm before my husband leaves for work.
Those early days mean that when your baby is sleeping, you're told that you should sleep. The reality is that you'll either sit and watch your baby sleep to ensure they don't spontaneously combust, or you'll run around trying to wash dishes, do laundry or mop the floor. If I could go back knowing what I know now, I would try my hardest to sleep when she sleeps*, or just relax and forget about chores. Those precious nap times are for you to shower, eat and/or sleep. There are plenty of times in the future where your baby will refuse to sleep, won't sleep without you holding him/her, or won't nap for long enough for you to go pee, let alone wash your hair. So do try to help yourself in those peaceful moments because it'll make you a better mother! Being well-rested, refreshed and having your essential needs met means you'll be more patient, less stressed and generally happier which your baby will pick up on!
* "Sleep when your baby sleeps!" is something much easier said than done. It's sound advice, but don't let that pressure get to you. Even if you can sleep every time your baby sleeps, I'm sure you'd still be tired, so just do what you can to feel more like yourself.
ASK FOR HELP
When it does get tough it's so essential to ask for help. Whether it's enrolling your friends to pass the baby around when you shower (did it- ✓), getting your Mum to make you a cup of tea before she leaves (✓), accepting your father-in-law's offer to pick up your rented breast pump (✓), or letting people come by just to watch the baby while you nap (✓) it's really important to make use of those around you. They love you (and love the baby even more), so let them spend time with the little one while you take time for yourself. And when you feel good, just say no! It's also okay to politely decline help when you feel like you can handle it yourself.
Being alone with your newborn for the first time can be very daunting. For me, it was made even more daunting for the fact that I actually hadn't spent much time with her in the hospital as she was in the NICU and I was recovering from a c-section down the hall. Because I'd spent the week prior to giving birth in the antenatal ward, and Ivy and I were in the hospital for 4 nights after I'd delivered meant that my hubby had to get back to work quite soon after coming home. If I remember correctly, (I do, I will never forget) we were discharged on Sunday afternoon, and my husband worked a 3-11pm shift the following day. Luckily I'd enrolled my Mum to come and help which made it all much less scary, plus I couldn't really do too much 5 days post-surgery. But being alone with your newborn, properly alone, is pretty scary stuff.
MY FORGETFUL EXPERIENCE
I don't remember exactly how long it was after having her, but my husband worked a night shift and as much as I wanted to call my Mum/Mother-in-law to come for a sleepover I knew I had to buckle down and get one night alone with baby under my belt. I'd been alone with her for a few hours here and there, but not too often. If I'm totally honest it went really well and as it turns out there was nothing to be scared of. I fed her, changed her, put her to sleep and held her. It's just a cycle of those 4 things in the early days and weeks, and honestly I've done it so much now that I don't even remember anything that was particularly difficult about it. It's a different story when you're alone with a baby 24/7, but for a day or night here and there there really is nothing to be worried about. But it's the emotions and anxiety beforehand that make it such a daunting task!
THE FEAR
The anxiety and fear associated with being alone with your newborn baby for the first time is really, quite an unnecessary thing. I was worried about so much. What if she starts crying and doesn't stop? What if I sleep through her crying? What about SIDS? Should I just watch her sleep all night? How will I go to the bathroom? Do I bring her in with me? What if the cat jumps into her bassinet and smothers her? How will I even feed the cat, I can't possibly run into the kitchen to do that and leave her alone! I'll have to feed her supper early at about 3pm before my husband leaves for work.
Those early days mean that when your baby is sleeping, you're told that you should sleep. The reality is that you'll either sit and watch your baby sleep to ensure they don't spontaneously combust, or you'll run around trying to wash dishes, do laundry or mop the floor. If I could go back knowing what I know now, I would try my hardest to sleep when she sleeps*, or just relax and forget about chores. Those precious nap times are for you to shower, eat and/or sleep. There are plenty of times in the future where your baby will refuse to sleep, won't sleep without you holding him/her, or won't nap for long enough for you to go pee, let alone wash your hair. So do try to help yourself in those peaceful moments because it'll make you a better mother! Being well-rested, refreshed and having your essential needs met means you'll be more patient, less stressed and generally happier which your baby will pick up on!
* "Sleep when your baby sleeps!" is something much easier said than done. It's sound advice, but don't let that pressure get to you. Even if you can sleep every time your baby sleeps, I'm sure you'd still be tired, so just do what you can to feel more like yourself.
ASK FOR HELP
When it does get tough it's so essential to ask for help. Whether it's enrolling your friends to pass the baby around when you shower (did it- ✓), getting your Mum to make you a cup of tea before she leaves (✓), accepting your father-in-law's offer to pick up your rented breast pump (✓), or letting people come by just to watch the baby while you nap (✓) it's really important to make use of those around you. They love you (and love the baby even more), so let them spend time with the little one while you take time for yourself. And when you feel good, just say no! It's also okay to politely decline help when you feel like you can handle it yourself.
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| It is also important to note that sitting and holding onto your newborns hand while she/he sleeps is also totally okay. It goes by pretty quickly. |
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