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The First Trimester: Weeks 1-6

Sunday, May 6/18

I think when you first find out your pregnant a lot of things change in your mind. Firstly, you're nervous as hell that it's actually real and that in a short nine months you'll be a parent. Secondly, you're constantly worried (or at least I was) that it could end any day, at any point. The countdown to the 12 week mark seems like it lasts a lifetime, and as each day passes by you are simultaneously relieved and even more worried that perhaps you'll miscarry later than most women do, and find yourself doing endless hours of research of what the symptoms are. And thirdly, you really do research everything- for hours upon hours. YouTube videos, blogs, WebMD and various other sites, within days of finding out I was pregnant I had 3 pregnancy apps- one which I had already decided to pay to get the full version (despite deleting it when at 35 weeks it told me my baby was the size of a watermelon) and I feel it was at this point that I had decided I needed to know as much as possible about pregnancy and labour. Forget what caring for a newborn would be like- I needed to know what hypnobirthing was, why the Canadian Paediatric Society recommended breastfeeding for TWO freakin' years, and what difference would it make if I tore or had an episiotomy? These questions plagued me for almost the entire first trimester and well into the second. I had read several baby and parenting books before I had even reached 12 weeks, so naturally by the time I had given birth it was all a blurry, distant memory and I had no idea what was happening. I swear I knew more about the third trimester in the first three weeks of my pregnancy than I ever did when it really counted.

The first six weeks of pregnancy are weird because for the first 2 or so you don't even know you're pregnant, and then when you actually find out you can't tell a soul! It's torture! I waited to call the doctor for an appointment at 5 weeks because I thought it was too soon and when I arrived for the appointment it was hugely underwhelming. I essentially peed into a pot (the first of many during pregnancy), talked briefly about if this was "what I wanted" and told that if the result came back positive I wouldn't be hearing from him, but if it was a negative result he'd give me a call. He said he was on call on Saturday, so that's when I'd hear from him if I wasn't pregnant. Saturday rolls around and it gets to about 4pm before I hear anything, so I think I'm in the clear. Suddenly I get a call and notice it's my doctor and I very gingerly pick up the phone, my head is already reeling with thoughts of how insane I must be to have convinced myself that I was actually pregnant! I say hello, and he says "Hi, Megan. I know I said I'd call if the result was negative, but I just wanted to call and confirm that you are pregnant and we'll book you in for a dating ultrasound in a month." So, although I was losing it in my head out of frustration with my doctor, and being both and excited and nervous that it had actually been confirmed by my doctor, that's when the real nerves kicked in. Now we have to tell the parents.

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