Tuesday, May 22/18
To pick up where I left off, I had been in labour for about 12 hours when I decided to go for an epidural. The anesthesiologist had just left and said he'd be back in 15-20 minutes to see how things were feeling (or not feeling, I suppose) and I was promised an hour's nap from my lovely nurse, Brenda.
SIGNING THE WAIVER
My toes were feeling a bit tingly, I was laying back on the bed and my nurse pulls the sheets printing from the non-stress test I've been attached to for 12 hours now. Soon after, a resident doctor (the one who broke my water) comes up to me and says there's a chance I might have to have a c-section. She doesn't say why, and I don't ask. I just say I'll do it if I have to. I look at my husband and he agrees, neither of us really pressed why it had to potentially happen or not. The doctor explains the risks to me, and then the phone in my room rings. She walks over and picks it up, talks to a few seconds, unplugs some of the machines I'm attached to and goes into the hallway for a minute or so. I hadn't noticed much of this, but then my nurse comes over and says, "she's unplugged you, so it looks like we're going in for the caesarean". I nod my head, turn to my husband and he says, "it's okay, we're going to meet our baby really soon!" and I sort of calmed down a bit, although I must say I was much calmer than I'd expect myself to be. I tell him to call my Mum (she was sitting with my mother-in-law anyway so they both found out quickly- turns out they were both in the waiting room anyway!). The doctor comes back in with a clipboard and talks to me a little bit more, although I'll admit I don't remember what she said to me. She held the clipboard above my face and I signed my name upside down from my laying position, apologized for my handwriting, and before I knew it I was being lifted from my bed to another.
THE JOURNEY DOWN THE HALL
I was quickly wheeled out of the room, and a little down the hallway. As I left my room I saw the anesthesiologist walking toward me and later he told me that he was coming back to check up on how my epidural was working when he was paged to the operating theatre. I actually did that weird movie thing where I basically just looked up at the ceiling as I was being wheeled and I think I was in a bit of shock to be honest. My Mum and mother-in-law were walking towards the "NO ENTRY" double-doors and I vaguely remember my mother-in-law grabbing my hand and my Mum kissing my cheek and hugging me. (Keep in mind that my memory is pretty shit at this point so who knows what really went down). The nurse said, "You just have time to say goodbye", which my Mum has since told me really freaked her out and upset her, but it was important that I was rushed in as quickly as possible. Through the doors my husband and I had to part ways, so he gave me a quick kiss and told me he loved me, and then just like that I was in the OR.
THE CAESAREAN
I was lifted from my bed to the operating table, and at this point I did notice that my legs were quite numb. All of the staff in the room introduced themselves, there were maybe 3 nurses, two resident doctors, the surgeon, and two anesthesiologists. The anesthesiologist who gave me my epidural pulled out a bag of ice cubes and ran it down my leg from my toes to my abdomen. I felt it at my hips and told him I did. He put the ice cube on my collarbone and asked if it was as cold as it was there, and I said "no". After I had said no, he turned to the surgeon and told him he was okay to begin, but quickly pressed down on the syringe attached to my shoulder where the epidural was administered. I wasn't sure if I got another dose of the epidural or if I was given something else like morphine, but I didn't feel any cutting or sharp pain at all, however I did feel a lot of pressure as things progressed. My husband finally came in after the surgery had begun, I realized afterwards that they do that on purpose, but at the time I'd thought that they'd forgotten him. He sat down beside me and I remember shaking like a leaf, and nurses regularly changing warm blankets placed on my upper body. The screen was up, so I couldn't see anything, and my arms were pulled out to my sides. When the baby was being pulled around I felt quite intense pain, which I think was because I wasn't as numb as I should have been. The anesthesiologist who was by my head and talking to me the whole time offered me some Fentanyl, and I asked her if it would "mess with my head" (at least I think those were my words), she said that it could make me drowsy or less aware, so I turned the Fentanyl down and turned to my husband and asked him to keep talking to me. He brushed my hair back over and over and kept saying how excited he was to meet our baby. The surgeon had warned me that c-section babies don't often cry when first born because it's so quick, but I distinctly remember hearing our baby cry before I even knew she had been born. One of the nurses or doctors called out and said, "Okay, Mom! What's your final guess? Boy or girl?!" I said, "Boy?" and she said, "Er... no it's a girl!!" and I remember feeling an insane wave of happiness and shock. I saw her lifted up, she was all blue and slimy, and just as I could focus on her she was whisked away and my husband followed her to see that everything was okay. About 5 or 10 minutes later, after all the staff had congratulated me, they came back into the room and our little girl was okay! He held her by my side, and unfortunately I couldn't take her, but I was able to twist my body a little and hold onto her little foot. I think this was the point that I cried, because they stayed with me while I was being all sewn up, and I remember saying, "I have to look away because my neck is hurting" and turning my head back because I had it all strained to look up at the baby. My husband was instructed to take her over to the recovery room, and I was wheeled in there shortly afterwards, quickly thanking everyone in the operating theatre on my way out.
And that was that. At 11:47pm on March 21st our little girl, Ivy, was born. It all happened very quickly, and in retrospect was quite traumatic, but everyone involved ensured we were kept safe and I couldn't be more grateful to everyone in the room that night. If it wasn't for them, things would have turned out very differently, and I was informed at my 6 week post-partum checkup that the reason the c-section happened so quickly was because Ivy's heart rate was dropping significantly and not coming back up, and if I hadn't been wheeled in so quickly she may not be here today. So I am eternally grateful to all who were involved and pretty proud of myself for not losing my shit during the whole ordeal. The resident doctor who broke the news that I needed the caesarean even commented on how easygoing I was, but I think internally I was freaking out a little. To all those who read this as a horror story, I promise it wasn't, and I would do it all over again!
To pick up where I left off, I had been in labour for about 12 hours when I decided to go for an epidural. The anesthesiologist had just left and said he'd be back in 15-20 minutes to see how things were feeling (or not feeling, I suppose) and I was promised an hour's nap from my lovely nurse, Brenda.
SIGNING THE WAIVER
My toes were feeling a bit tingly, I was laying back on the bed and my nurse pulls the sheets printing from the non-stress test I've been attached to for 12 hours now. Soon after, a resident doctor (the one who broke my water) comes up to me and says there's a chance I might have to have a c-section. She doesn't say why, and I don't ask. I just say I'll do it if I have to. I look at my husband and he agrees, neither of us really pressed why it had to potentially happen or not. The doctor explains the risks to me, and then the phone in my room rings. She walks over and picks it up, talks to a few seconds, unplugs some of the machines I'm attached to and goes into the hallway for a minute or so. I hadn't noticed much of this, but then my nurse comes over and says, "she's unplugged you, so it looks like we're going in for the caesarean". I nod my head, turn to my husband and he says, "it's okay, we're going to meet our baby really soon!" and I sort of calmed down a bit, although I must say I was much calmer than I'd expect myself to be. I tell him to call my Mum (she was sitting with my mother-in-law anyway so they both found out quickly- turns out they were both in the waiting room anyway!). The doctor comes back in with a clipboard and talks to me a little bit more, although I'll admit I don't remember what she said to me. She held the clipboard above my face and I signed my name upside down from my laying position, apologized for my handwriting, and before I knew it I was being lifted from my bed to another.
THE JOURNEY DOWN THE HALL
I was quickly wheeled out of the room, and a little down the hallway. As I left my room I saw the anesthesiologist walking toward me and later he told me that he was coming back to check up on how my epidural was working when he was paged to the operating theatre. I actually did that weird movie thing where I basically just looked up at the ceiling as I was being wheeled and I think I was in a bit of shock to be honest. My Mum and mother-in-law were walking towards the "NO ENTRY" double-doors and I vaguely remember my mother-in-law grabbing my hand and my Mum kissing my cheek and hugging me. (Keep in mind that my memory is pretty shit at this point so who knows what really went down). The nurse said, "You just have time to say goodbye", which my Mum has since told me really freaked her out and upset her, but it was important that I was rushed in as quickly as possible. Through the doors my husband and I had to part ways, so he gave me a quick kiss and told me he loved me, and then just like that I was in the OR.
THE CAESAREAN
I was lifted from my bed to the operating table, and at this point I did notice that my legs were quite numb. All of the staff in the room introduced themselves, there were maybe 3 nurses, two resident doctors, the surgeon, and two anesthesiologists. The anesthesiologist who gave me my epidural pulled out a bag of ice cubes and ran it down my leg from my toes to my abdomen. I felt it at my hips and told him I did. He put the ice cube on my collarbone and asked if it was as cold as it was there, and I said "no". After I had said no, he turned to the surgeon and told him he was okay to begin, but quickly pressed down on the syringe attached to my shoulder where the epidural was administered. I wasn't sure if I got another dose of the epidural or if I was given something else like morphine, but I didn't feel any cutting or sharp pain at all, however I did feel a lot of pressure as things progressed. My husband finally came in after the surgery had begun, I realized afterwards that they do that on purpose, but at the time I'd thought that they'd forgotten him. He sat down beside me and I remember shaking like a leaf, and nurses regularly changing warm blankets placed on my upper body. The screen was up, so I couldn't see anything, and my arms were pulled out to my sides. When the baby was being pulled around I felt quite intense pain, which I think was because I wasn't as numb as I should have been. The anesthesiologist who was by my head and talking to me the whole time offered me some Fentanyl, and I asked her if it would "mess with my head" (at least I think those were my words), she said that it could make me drowsy or less aware, so I turned the Fentanyl down and turned to my husband and asked him to keep talking to me. He brushed my hair back over and over and kept saying how excited he was to meet our baby. The surgeon had warned me that c-section babies don't often cry when first born because it's so quick, but I distinctly remember hearing our baby cry before I even knew she had been born. One of the nurses or doctors called out and said, "Okay, Mom! What's your final guess? Boy or girl?!" I said, "Boy?" and she said, "Er... no it's a girl!!" and I remember feeling an insane wave of happiness and shock. I saw her lifted up, she was all blue and slimy, and just as I could focus on her she was whisked away and my husband followed her to see that everything was okay. About 5 or 10 minutes later, after all the staff had congratulated me, they came back into the room and our little girl was okay! He held her by my side, and unfortunately I couldn't take her, but I was able to twist my body a little and hold onto her little foot. I think this was the point that I cried, because they stayed with me while I was being all sewn up, and I remember saying, "I have to look away because my neck is hurting" and turning my head back because I had it all strained to look up at the baby. My husband was instructed to take her over to the recovery room, and I was wheeled in there shortly afterwards, quickly thanking everyone in the operating theatre on my way out.
And that was that. At 11:47pm on March 21st our little girl, Ivy, was born. It all happened very quickly, and in retrospect was quite traumatic, but everyone involved ensured we were kept safe and I couldn't be more grateful to everyone in the room that night. If it wasn't for them, things would have turned out very differently, and I was informed at my 6 week post-partum checkup that the reason the c-section happened so quickly was because Ivy's heart rate was dropping significantly and not coming back up, and if I hadn't been wheeled in so quickly she may not be here today. So I am eternally grateful to all who were involved and pretty proud of myself for not losing my shit during the whole ordeal. The resident doctor who broke the news that I needed the caesarean even commented on how easygoing I was, but I think internally I was freaking out a little. To all those who read this as a horror story, I promise it wasn't, and I would do it all over again!
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| My first time holding our daughter, about an hour after she was born! |
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| Lord knows why I look so happy as I'm being stitched up! It was an incredible experience. |
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